Wednesday, June 2, 2010

So... I read The Midnight Dancers by Regina Doman. Perhaps I shall do a review of it at some point; I did have some issues with it, but there were some very cool themes relating to the nature of goodness, beauty, and light running through it - I found it thought-provoking, if nothing else, though it was also interesting, exciting, etc. :) And of course, thinking about it, I decided to post my thoughts (we'll see if a review happens or not). :D

Now, from reading reviews/people's comments on this book, I knew that the hero, Paul Fester, was really supposed to be a type of Christ, which I always love to read about. Usually I like seeing it when I know the author had no idea of the strong picture they are giving me of my Savior, so it was interesting to read a book where the main character was purposefully given that role. Reading the book, I really did like that aspect and how it played out in the story. Still, I didn't quite see it as strongly as others had seen it, and when I finished the book, I was somewhat disgusted.

See, Rachel Durham, the main girl character, is not nice. Not nice at all. She's a rebellious 18-year-old with a rotten attitude. I was ok with that, but at the end of the book, I wanted repentance - serious, humble, horrified, completely changing, realization and shock at what had happened. I wanted her to see the extent of her sin. I wanted her to be punished for all that she had done. Others might not agree with me, but I felt like she got away with it. It turned out to her benefit. Sure, she cried and said she was sorry. Big deal. Look at all the problems she created, the pain she caused, everything she did to Paul, who deserved none of it! She despised him for his very goodness, for the help he so willing offered her. He was tortured for her stupidity and sin- and he cheerfully forgives her, acting like it was no big deal!

That's when it hit me. If he was a type of Christ... Rachel was a type of me. God told me what was right. He showed me what was good, and I despised Him. Know what? I get nothing like what I deserve. After all that I have done (and continue to do, even now, o wretched -girl- that I am!), I deserve punishment. I deserve to get the result of my sins. Yet Christ stepped in, taking my place, offering Himself for me. He received every bit of what was meant for me, what I deserved. Sure, I repented. I am sorry and I want to follow Him, forsaking my sin. But really? Does that make up in any way for anything I've done? Does that somehow make me worthy of His free forgiveness and full pardon? Not at all. Suddenly I saw so clearly just how great God's mercy is. It's so easy to allow pride to make repentance seem bigger than it is. Like it somehow makes me deserve something. My sorriness, my tears (and how often have I allowed myself to even be that sorry over my sin?), really mean nothing. I in no way realize the extent of my sin, the depths of my depravity in relation to the holiness of God. I can't "make it up" to Him. Yet He took away my punishment. All of it. There are consequences of sin in the world - but they are so little compared to what I deserve! Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved. So little! That's it - and I am forgiven. I am not punished. I am not rejected. He brings me into a relationship with Himself and wants to be my friend! Unimaginable - but it is real.
In the car today while thinking about all that, I heard this song:

How can I forgive someone who has hurt me
How can I love someone who is my enemy
Can I just overlook it and let the healing begin
It's unlike me, but it's just like Him.

From the cross He said,"Forgive them
For they know not what they do."
When He said it is finished
He made that possible for you.
Calvary's where the hatred ends
And forgiveness begins
It's unlike me, but it's just like Him.
How can I forgive the past and just start all over
How can I forget my scars and pour in the myrrh
Is it really like me to make my enemy my friend
It's unlike me, but it's just like Him.

No way would I be able to forgive someone who did such things, who really did not even have an understanding or realization of the extent of their sin, simply because they repented. I mean, when you don't even really understand the seriousness of what you've done (and will we ever truly do that until we stand before God's throne, if even then?), how can you be sorry enough for it? But it's just like Him! That's what He did for me!
No matter what else was in the book... actually seeing it like that was amazing. I hope this all makes sense - sometimes those little "click" moments can be slightly difficult to explain. :)
He is so good, though! Wow. What a God we serve!
Keep Seeking Him!

4 thoughts shared:

Katherine said...


many blessings,

Jessica said...

This was wonderful Kate. I know what you mean. I am struggling with the exact same thing in one of the books that I recently finished...I will have to think awhile maybe I can get more then I think out of it.

Merriette said...

Great post. I and my sister have actually wanted for a long time to right a story where someone is completely selfless and self-sacrificing towards someone else, who really doesn't get it fully (cries and says she's sorry--exactly), but we thought we couldn't do it well enough, so that's neat to hear that someone else has! Though, I can imagine, in the book that would be really aggravating. But that's just it, like you said, we should be mad at ourselves of anyone because that is us! God is so incredible. And, yes, you make perfect sense. :) That is so true, I think I'm sorry and repentant, but really I don't get the half of it. God is so good.

Katherine Sophia said...

Thank you all! :) That thinking space helps sometimes, doesn't it, Jessica? Usually I just end up forgetting what my first impression was... :P Which is why I posted this as quickly as I could. :) And I'm glad it made sense, Merriette! Amen to what you said, too. :)


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