Monday, August 28, 2017

grace check






So, I was praying for something the other day...something I needed Divine help in order to accomplish...and while praying I heard myself say, 

I don't deserve Your help with this, but...

and I went...???Wait, what???

When do I "deserve" His help? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my brain likes to head down two different paths.

I'm in medical school because God pretty much highlighted and opened every door for me.
He really should smooth the way for me now.


I am taking a test but I really didn't study for it like I should have.
He should probably let me fail like I deserve.


I quickly reminded myself that I'd always heard grace defined as undeserved favor - by definition I didn't deserve His divine favor, ever. The question remained, do we, at certain points, deserve His favor less? Logic said if I was doing something wrong I must deserve it less...but the corollary seemed to be then that if I was doing something right, I deserved it more. Which would make it not grace.

Having thoroughly turned my tired brain around, I went to look up what the Bible had to say about grace. 


Romans 5:15 - But not as the offence, so also is the free gift. For if through the offence of one many be dead, much more the grace of God, and the gift by grace, which is by one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded unto many.

the free gift: charisma - derived from charis, grace, indicating the result of grace. A gift of grace, an undeserved benefit from God.

grace of God: charis - from chairo (to rejoice) or chara (joy, favor, acceptance, kindness granted or desired, benefit, thanks, gratitude, grace). A favor done without expectation of return; absolute freeness of the loving-kindness of God to men, finding its only motive in the bounty and freeheartedness of the Giver; unearned and unmerited favor. 

What then does this free gift, available to all, abounding unto many, do?

Takes us out of sin's power.
Romans 6:14 - For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

Saves us.
Ephesians 2:8-9 - For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.


Allows His power to rest upon us and allows us to do and endure whatever He has called us to.
2 Corinthians 12:9 - And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

His grace was the thing I was asking for...I did not deserve it...but because it is a gift centered in the lovingkindness of a Bountiful Giver, not in my {often faulty} judgement of my worthiness or lack thereof, I could still ask for it. My question really boiled down to, how dare I come before Him and request His assistance with my daily problems? Which of course led back to a misconception of Who He is and who I am. The verse that came to mind as I thought about this?

Luke 12:32 - It is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

Which ties into:


Romans 8:32 - He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
Matthew 7:11 - ...how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Which also got me thinking about how each piece of the Lord's Prayer is asking for a form of grace, whether asking for our daily needs, our deliverance from temptation, or that His kingdom would come and the implications of that request. Jesus told us to ask for things. It is our Father's good pleasure to give us the kingdom...and seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. 

Ask. Ask the Giver to give. Ask Him for His grace, and, like Paul did at the beginning or the end of nearly every letter he wrote, ask that grace for those around you.



John 16:24 - Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. 



*all verses from the Hebrew Greek Key Study Bible, KJV, with Strong's Dictionary & Concordance


Monday, August 21, 2017

Summer Snippets of Drama and Trauma


Like my neat combining of July and August into 1 post? XD That way, you see, I can post July snippets in August.  ;)

These few are all from Rebel Queen, my current WIP and the sequel to Contract to Time Travel, my dear dystopian/sci-fi/fantasy/time-travel story.
(i.e. there MIGHT be spoilers for CTTT here. You've been warned. XD)





Echo's lips parted in pure shock, but the blood itself drained from Rui's face, and the shattering of his very center showed clear, as every carefully placed mask he had ever managed to create broke at once, leaving upon his face the look of one who saw Death made manifest. Rui, who had faced death itself a hundred times at her side and never flinched.



His gaze swept the room. “I will swear upon anything you wish, give to you any proof I am able—though I was more surely Amon’s than any of you, and though I stand guilty of all you would accuse me of and far else, I am yet more deeply the God’s who has claimed me, and I have not played you false."
In the silence that followed, Echo took a breath, allowing herself to rest a moment in the power and the aching truth in his voice. Perhaps she was a fool, to trust a voice that so easily commanded—she, who had lived two and a half years with chimeras and knew their subtle charm—but though she lived a thousand years, she could not forget [___] sacrificing himself, and on that moment she would have staked far more than this. 



Minato ground his teeth as he bowed his head, and kept his voice carefully neutral as he spoke. “I am back.”
Her prayer ceased abruptly as she turned to look at him, her gorgeous face pale in the liros light. A moment she stared at him, and then the words slipped from her as if in answer to something she saw upon his face. “Eleven months. Eleven months and we are still alive, Min.”
He settled the rage more carefully inside himself, and bowed deeply to her. “May you be blessed with sleep,” he said aloud, and headed to his room.
I would rather be dead.



Echo closed her eyes, feeling the heat of the sun against her skin. She thought unaccountably of Ja-Il and shut her eyes more tightly, lest the missing of his fire burn more deeply than she could bear. 
Phoenix would not understand those tears.



“Look at me,” he said, and so she did.
He was not as she had expected.
Black nails, suma-lined eyes, irises so dark they were almost black themselves. Pale skin, appearing even paler beneath black hair.
He was younger than she had imagined.
Far more human.
Far more terrifying.


Monday, August 7, 2017


So I happened to see one of my undergrad schedules. I posted it on here several years ago. :D

So that was totally one of my easier semesters, and I found myself plenty busy with it. (I was writing a novel that semester...)


But here's one of my extreme easy weeks in med school, to compare:



Residency? Here's this month's schedule, color-coded to hide my colleagues' names. XD

Times? Oh, 5-6am until somewhere between 10-16 hours later...(We can by law be on call for up to 28 hours at a time, but are limited to 80 hours per week, averaged over the month. My program has chosen to so far keep us to 13 hours straight, plus whatever is required on each end to finish our work for the day. As senior residents...28 hours will be happening.)  

So if I'm absent this month and next...you can guess why. XD


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