Monday, January 27, 2014

This Week I...



nearly died:
erm...of shock maybe? I had no idea...LOL all you who have seen a bit more of life feel free to laugh at me...but I was a c-section baby, and I've always been more interested in that. I know nothing - nothing that counted anyway - about the normal way babies get here. Er, knew nothing. XD

read: 
A bit of Becoming Hannah...while waiting for a baby to be born...the things one does when one is nervous. XD 

Also read a lot of pages in my multitude of textbooks. I was going to count them to see if I made it to several hundred but that would take time I don't have. XD So I'm going with a lot.

listened to: 
a bit of Vienna Teng...I've been meaning to put this song on my blog for a while, and after this week I feel it's incredibly appropriate. Both because I drove home in a snowstorm last night and because of everything I've been thinking about this week.



prayed that: 
above-mentioned baby would be born healthy and without problems. 
Some of my colleagues-in-training were delivering babies themselves this week...I was just praying this one would make it okay. 

And it turned out perfectly and the baby was born in the manner of most babies, in a blasphemous mess of beauty and pain and indescribable wonder.

wrote: 
2 H&P's, an assessment paper, and a scholarship application... :P and a few snippets I may or may not post just for fun. Clinics are DEFINITELY places for getting story ideas. XD

also, a bit of sequel to my time travel story. Because why not. XD Even if I'm not done with book 1 yet.

“You’re him…” she whispered, feeling blackness swallow her voice, her thoughts, her very soul. “You’re the angel from my nightmares.”

The thing that stood out to me most in school was: 
Muscle contractions from tetanus are severe enough that they can break bones. Get your tetanus vaccine. 'Cause that's a bit disturbing. 
And seriously, I don't care what you think about vaccines...if there is something incurable like that...and a shot can keep you from getting it...then that would be a shot to get. 

learned from the internet: ('cause that totally needs its own category, right? XD)
Cap Garland died in an explosion when he was 26. That makes me very sad. He never did marry Mary Powers. :( 
Nellie Oleson, on the other hand, lived to be 81 and named her three children Zola Margaret, Lloyd Prescott and Leslie Henry. Don’t those sound exactly like what you would expect her to name her children? She and her husband, Henry Frank Kirry, also ended up separating, which I hate to say is also what you might expect. 
I hate finding out what happened to all these people I only knew good stuff about as a child... :P

Speaking of internet, though, loved this list. For obvious reasons. XD
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physician_writer

learned from life: 
Life itself...from the moment we are shoved and yanked mewling into the world (anybody who's ever heard a newborn baby enter "squalling" come talk to me. :P) to the moment we take our gasping final breaths...we are living...how often do we stop and think about what that means? It is only in the time between those two moments that that we can make a difference. It is only in that time that the rest of our eternity can be determined. It is not a time to take lightly or to let pass you by, and how often do we do exactly that?

I knew doctors entered into life and death moments...it's part of the reason I wanted to be one. But until you have seen both someone coming into the world and someone on their way out in the space of 12 hours, you don't know what that means. 

Life and death...so closely intertwined. Both so full of blood and pain and joy and agony. As powerful and precious as words are, even they cannot capture the moment a man and woman draw together, hours of fighting for this thing over at last, looking down at the tiny life in their arms with absolute awe on their faces...any more than words can capture the feeling of the moment as a wife gently strokes her dying husband's head, the look in her eyes as she says she is prepared for the end, for the moment when the cancer that is devouring her husband's life crosses at last into his artery and he bleeds out in front of her.

Death, in face of life...The hospital bed, set up in the dining room, family clustered around it, waiting for death even as life continues...
Life, in the face of death...the flaring heartbeat of fetal distress and the prayers sent flying heavenward as the doctor finally grabs hold of the baby, twisting and turning it to keep it from slipping back away...


I may be sitting in a classroom for 5 solid years of my life, but it is these moments away from school that I know why. 


A thing that stood out to me in the Bible: 
Galations. Where Paul says, "My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you, I desire to be present with you now, and to change my voice; for I stand in doubt of you."

Wow. That is passion. What if all of us felt that way? What if every one of us had that mother-love (that drives a woman to carry another person nine months inside her and then to go through as much wretched incredible pain as is involved in birth and give up all that was her life before to take care of a tiny person who demands her everything) for the unsaved? If we worked as hard for the salvation of everyone we know as a mother works to give birth? If we struggled and begged and pleaded and fought for eternal life the way a mother does for temporary life? 

How do we get that passion, that love for others? That willingness to enter the fire in hopes of bringing them life?








(note: if you're actually reading these in order and wondering how I managed to live a week in a single day, actually I was doing these a week later, but decided to just schedule them to Monday instead of the next Sunday - at this point in my life, a week past feels like ancient history. And I might continue to do these as long as I have time, not so much because I think ya'll should be fascinated by what I did this week XD as simply because they force me to stop and look back at my week and see what's going on. Which is a very good thing in med school. XD)

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